Imaginary Stalker Ex Boyfriend on eBay
Starting bid: US $4.99

Are you tired of your parents/friends teasing you about not having a “special” someone in your life??
Are you bored with your current lifestyle and wish to add some excitement to help pass the time??
WELL… I am offering my services for 1 Month as the FIRST Imaginary Stalker Ex Boyfriend on Ebay!!

My services will include (but may not be limited to):
• Emailing you on a daily basis (or more often if you so choose) and asking you where you’ve been all day and who were you with.
• Mailing you 1 letter per week explaining why we shouldn’t be apart and what could happen if we stay apart much longer.
• “Busting in” on your AIM or Yahoo chat sessions and “flipping out” because your talking to “other guys”. (We will have to set something up to work around each others schedules).
• You will also receive a special Valentines card w/ a letter proclaiming my “love” for you.

Now when people ask “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
You can say “Because the last guy I went out with was like a freakin’ Stalker…I am afraid to go through that again.”
They will say “BULLSH*T!!”
Then you whip out those letters and they read them and go “DAMN!!”….nuff said?!