Today I caught the National Express bus to Carlisle and met the Great Quiddity for the first time! I knew the moment she hopped out the taxi at the YHA that she’d be the perfect person to do a trip like this with. Funny how things work out that way.

The trip up on the bus took 10 hours and I slept through most of it. I remember feeling insanely bored and wishing I was on my feet walking already.

View from the window of the English countryside

Stop off at Victoria Coach Station to catch a connecting bus. It’s super organised here – people waiting at gates and terminals just like its heathrow.

I arrived at the hostel to discover I’d left my cell in the cab! Luckily I thought to ring it immediately before a passenger found it and the cab driver answered. He was at the other end of town so we had to hang around the hostel for an hour and a half before he delivered it back to me. Quiddity lost her phone too during the trip to Carlisle but never got it back :@(

It was 10pm by now, getting really late and all the restaurants were closing, so we took a walk into town to see what we could find. We managed to get some pizza and decided to eat it on the lawns outside this beautiful castle in the centre of town. The vibe was stunning, the walls of the castle glowing from the lawn lights… I’ll never forget it.

We returned to our hostel to find a cat that seemed to be lost. The residence’s dog had chased it up a tree earlier that day and it couldnt find its way home. It was wailing and wailing. We tried to call the local RSPCA but they were closed so I took it into my room and gave it some water. It didnt stop drinking for about 10 minutes!! Poor thing. Then we finally settled down to sleep for a cuddle.

A magical green cloud gives birth to cows

I got up later to go to the loo and bumped into Quiddity. “I’ve had a little accident.”
All i could see was this hand covered in blood and dripping all over the floor. It didnt look little at all. She’d stuck her hand into her bathroom bag and the razor cut her finger really badly. There was a trail of blood from her bedroom to the toilet to the baisin. There was blood on her chair and on her foot. It was everywhere! Haha! It wouldnt stop bleeding for about half an hour. I went through about half a roll of toilet paper, and we even tried running it under cold water. Eventually I used the bandages in the first aid kit. I think I did a pretty good job! And I’m really proud of Quiddity for surviving such an ordeal.

Quiddity bleeds for you

By now it was about 1am and we’d probably woken up everyone since we were rushing in and out between the bathroom and the bedrooms. I went back to my room and fell asleep with my cuddly kitty.

An hour later I hear it pacing up and down the room, scratching and scratching. “SHHHH!” I keep hissing at it. Soon after it starts to yowl and yowl and doesnt shut up. Im worried that everyone will hear I have a cat in the room… “SHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

… silence ….

SQUELCHSPLECHHHH……..

“What the hell was that?” I turn the light on and climb out of bed. I find the cat under the dresser table, squatting, tail up, and squirting out a very liquid poo onto the carpet. Man on man! All I want is SLEEP! I put the cat outside so it would shut up and spent the next 15 minutes scrubbing the carpet, waking everyone up as I paced between the bedroom and kitchen sink.

I slept solidly after that.

Pyjama party