I’ve stuck with Pennsylvania’s PNC Bank for years because they have a rocking online banking system, iphone app and very intelligent phone support. But sadly our romance has come to an end upon discovery that their love for their customers is a sham, based on a lame computerized system that automatically rules with damnation and fury on all its customers and allows for no human brain to brain interaction of any kind.

A year ago I called in to get a refund on an overdraft protection fee ($10) for a very valid issue. A mess up on their end caused my account to go into overdraft and their automatic overdraft protection kicked in initiating a fee. The overdraft protection fee is such a scam. They use my own money from my own account to cover the overdraft in another account, and its all automatic. But apparently a terribly expensive bother for them to have this automagiacally happen by computer, so they have deemed $10 for this service as fair. However I did agree to the terms of this outright financial rape in a moment of desperation realising it would be stupid to not set up such a “protection”.

So of course, this time too I wanted a refund on this extortionate fee for another incident where it wasn’t my fault. I call in today to get the situation rectified, but unfortunately their all knowing all ruling customer hating system triggered a BIG FAT NO based on my refund requesting history of ONCE for a VALID ISSUE from A YEAR AGO, and the matter is final. No negotiation whatsoever. They may as well just charge me accidental $10 fees until my backup account is completely empty, because apparently I have no way to get this money back. EVER. I also cannot ever again get ATM fees refunded even when there is an actual ATM error (the cause of my overdraft problems this time) because, oh, deary me, but it looks like you requested an ATM fee refund before. Are you trying to get money out of us? But, but… the last time was a valid issue too… We are so sorry, but you will never be forgiven again. Don’t try to call us about this again because the next time you try to get money out of us we will speak down to you without the friendly tone. Do have a good day.

Oh okay, I will have a good day then. I wont bother ever calling again for customer service where two people smile sweetly on each end with clenched teeth. I am moving my accounts to an AWESOME bank that knows and loves its customers. I’ve been trying them out for the past few months with small amounts of piddly money. Bank of the West, Boulder Walnut Colorado. You are old skool banking at its best. The way it was in the old days, when you walked in, and everyone there knew your name and look so happy to see you, even though you didn’t arrive by jet but by beat up car. And they always ask how your boyfriend is doing and if your dog made it through that surgery ok. Where they have your info pulled up on their screen before you sit down, because they happen to remember your name and your ridiculous foreign last name that nobody else can seem to pronounce except for them on your SECOND VISIT. Where you call in to speak to your personal banker to have things moved around and all sorts of wishes granted. Every time. Bank of the West, I luff you. You make everything better. You make banking sane again. If it wasn’t for you I’d be putting my money under a rock by now. (It would all fit)