31 Jul 2011

You would even enjoy hell…

Wherever you go, you carry your own imagination. Even if you go to heaven, you won’t be able to see it as heaven if there is a hell in your heart. If you have a heaven in your heart, you would even enjoy hell. Yes, it’s true. Because you would see heaven there. It’s all up to you. Om Shanthi, Shanthi, Shanthi.
~ Sri Swami Satchidananda

Loving wholeheartedly and believing in the good of others, like a child, may seem foolish to some, and yes, there are those that will take advantage of it. But to me it is the key to a happy heart and the ultimate goal – peace of mind. Afterall, hardly any of the things we worry about actually happen. So much wasted time thinking about it anyway.

Some days and through some crazy experiences in my life, this belief is rocked to the core, my thoughts go dark and I feel like I will never be able to trust again, but it is no way for me to live. Often people have called me stupid, ridiculously trusting. And in the face of that I tell them that even if I am stupid and it turns out horribly, ego battered to a pulp, I would still do it all over again. And I would, as in each case it was still someone I deeply love. Everyone is worth loving. Everyone is worth at least a second chance. In some cases I gave so many chances I lost count over the years, because some day I hope their struggle to come right might end. I might not be strong enough to give this second chance out right away, but once I do, it is with complete trust. If for just one reason, my peace of mind might turn out to be more valuable than everything else acquired in this lifeftime.

Today something devastated my heart which I dont want to blog about or talk about, but I allowed my thoughts to go very dark and crazy for almost the entire day. I am grateful to have found this message today, to keep my mind young and flexible, and to keep believing in others, and hoping that they too might some day show me the same courtesy, hoping always for me and seeking to find the best in me. As my friend Tiffany said in passing the other day: keep overflowing with love, and let the accusations fall away. Just hearing it liberated me.

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