Sinter Clausen, the guy I made up to replace Santa Claus, because Santa and I aren’t speaking since I ate all of his cookies last year… Jesus Christ, for respecting my wishes that he not try and overshadow my presence during the various seasonal rituals. Olivia, for her ability to endure long periods of cold in search of caramel vanilla coffee drink thingies as well as her potent sexual prowes… Myself, of course. Let’s see, who else? Evolution for inventing the pumpkin, and that leading pumpkin pie. Oh, and alcohol for allowing me to chip my two front teeth in a display of drinking prowess vs. a bunch of British guys and then subsequently helping me to forget the whole ordeal…