Something as brilliant as this can only have been designed by a very clever woman (or MenAgainstThePublicWearingofSandals.org).

It seems the toilets in Japan are not only way more advanced and gadgety but super clean and civilized. Ive always wondered how they stay so clean. Do men typically sit to pee over there? Over here we have a tradition of putting fluffy removable carpeting around the base of the toilet to catch all the boy pee that splashes and dribbles down the sides from high shot aiming. Those carpets get so stinky and it takes only a single day to get super disgusting and soaked. I cant stomach the thought of putting something like that in the laundry with the clothes so I opt for getting on my knees and scrubbing. Its almost as revolting somehow. Ive always thought penises were an amazing invention not only for their usefulness but their ability to aim away from the body towards a tree. However they have never been very good at aiming into a tiny bowl and it amazes me more people havent caught onto this fact after all this fruitless practice.

The whole western toilet system here just seems so unhygienic to me and just one step beyond a long drop thanks to the invention of flushing water. Even though I’ve grown up my whole life with toilets in the same room as my toothbrush and shower I’ve never been able to get used to it. Why not just incorporate the kitchen in there as well so I can be absolutely certain Im getting as much pee as possible in my mouth.