Comments on: Bargaining For Nothing https://yummy-wakame.com/weblog/2009/11/bargaining-for-nothing/ UX Designer + Full-Stack Dev Tue, 11 Oct 2016 04:48:03 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.1 By: Ms. Wakame https://yummy-wakame.com/weblog/2009/11/bargaining-for-nothing/#comment-8819 Sun, 29 Nov 2009 18:17:15 +0000 http://www.yummy-wakame.com/weblog/?p=4590#comment-8819 I’m glad you feel closer krissi. I do feel free… I am finally just being me.

]]> By: Barbara Peirson https://yummy-wakame.com/weblog/2009/11/bargaining-for-nothing/#comment-8824 Sun, 29 Nov 2009 13:45:00 +0000 http://www.yummy-wakame.com/weblog/?p=4590#comment-8824 I am just so amazed at the insights you are gathering along the pathway through this, your long dark night of the soul.

]]> By: Krissi https://yummy-wakame.com/weblog/2009/11/bargaining-for-nothing/#comment-8818 Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:21:36 +0000 http://www.yummy-wakame.com/weblog/?p=4590#comment-8818 i am really proud of you for using names and pronouns in your writing, Olivia. i think it is a huge step into being honest with yourself and others about your situation.

it makes me feel closer to you…you are making yourself completely vulnerable…and that is why you are free.

]]> By: Ms. Wakame https://yummy-wakame.com/weblog/2009/11/bargaining-for-nothing/#comment-8817 Sun, 29 Nov 2009 01:04:31 +0000 http://www.yummy-wakame.com/weblog/?p=4590#comment-8817 Well, we will see! Yore right about alcohol, water and exercise – my body has been craving and enjoying walking and riding my bike SO much, drinking tons of water because its thirsty from the exercise and I’ve been naturally avoiding alcohol. Just listening to the body, that’s all 🙂

]]> By: AllieCat https://yummy-wakame.com/weblog/2009/11/bargaining-for-nothing/#comment-8822 Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:33:00 +0000 http://www.yummy-wakame.com/weblog/?p=4590#comment-8822 Was it his heart & soul that you fell in love with, or was it certian qualities about him? Or a combination of both? Is it possible to move onward by separating him from those qualities that you love about him, identify the ones that he lacked, and put together the ideal combination of qualities to be on the casual lookout for? Afterall, you said it best in the last paragraph. You already took the best of him – the cream that rose to the top. That was your right when you were in covenant with him. She gets only the lame leftovers, and unless a person makes a true and genuine mistake and is passionately dedicated to doing whatever it takes to right the wrong, the old generalization is tried and true – "once a cheater, always a cheater." They gravitate to one another. Andy was married and divorced. It took me awhile to see past his poor choices right out of highschool – to deal with the fact that someone else had already taken a piece of him and shared memories with him (she cheated, and then ended up marrying the guy she cheated on him with). But then I realized that the best was yet to come – because he has a heart of gold and he did everything he could to prevent the divorce. I can identify with a lot of the cycles you are going through because Andy had a lot of self-reflection about failure – what he had done wrong, what he should have seen and didn't, what was wrong with him personally, etc. But he never did allow the depression stage to run it's course, because of the dangers it theatens of not getting back up. He was dissapointed in her, dissapointed in the investment he had made into her (10 years). He focused on the fact that she made the choice to leave. It was her free will. He just built himself up daily by looking into the mirror and saying, "Andy, you're a stud. You've got a lot going for you. You've got a great family and great friends. You're on the way up. Today is going to be the best day of your life." He knew that the most effective way to change the thoughts in his head was to hear himself speak out back into his head what he wanted. You should see the confidence the boy has today. In fact, that's one of the things that intrigued me about him when I saw him for the first time. It was genuine confidence, not false, inflated, arrogant confidence. When we were newly married I used to think that I didn't have 100{a9f0d31f6175b3e4775e11a66c07db268fb74408d6095f6b46eeec420c0e9f62} of his heart – that because he still had memories of her that she somehow was still in his heart. But I quickly learned that the memories were empty, emotionless shells. The divorce had completely severed any emotional or obligatory loyality to her. And you can bet your life on the fact that, although at this time he may be entertaining his temporal lust and need for instant gratification, and although this may be masking the loss of your beautiful self, this too shall pass. And when it does, he will fall hard, haunted by regret and guilt. When he gets to that point, I pray, for his sake, that he will have someone to help him through that, so he doesn't wallow in misery for the rest of his walk on the earth.

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