Comments on: Desire, Attachment and the Endless Pursuit of Happiness

By: Aaron N Allie Thiel

Aaron N Allie Thiel — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 21:25:00 +0000

🙂 Much love! Rooting for you.

By: Olivia Meiring

Olivia Meiring — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 19:49:00 +0000

By the way, any comments that are made on my website can be saved for all time 🙂 Im not sure how long FaceBook saves them for.

By: Olivia Meiring

Olivia Meiring — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 19:48:00 +0000

exactly Allie, what you are asking is what I need to figure out. It seems pointless to be in a relationship with someone if I'm not really "in it", truly connected in some way. Yet at the same time, it very risky to do that again. Because even when you 100{a9f0d31f6175b3e4775e11a66c07db268fb74408d6095f6b46eeec420c0e9f62} trust someone, and never consider they could ever cheat on you, apparently it happens. And a lot of people can vouch for that. Yet at the same time I have always believed its not worth being in a relationship with someone if there is no trust, so there has to be that, I dont regret trusting him. I have to admit I dont have the answer to this at all. I'm figuring it out as I go along.

By: Aaron N Allie Thiel

Aaron N Allie Thiel — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 19:12:00 +0000

you know, there is an ancient Hewbrew custom (acutally, it is not soley credited to the tribes that evolved to be Hebrews…it existed in many ancient cultures of the middle east) called a blood covenant. Perhaps you are familiar? I was just casually reading your thoughts and I remembered the blood covenant – it was how tribal leaders would make contracts with each other that involved the slicing of a body part in a noticable area and the mingling of blood between the two- that showed the two tribes were in covenant with each other. That meant when one when to war, the other fought with them. When one needed a skill set that the other had, then services were freely exchanged between the tribes. They depended on eachother for survival. This same principle was applied to marriage agreements. They would cut around the base of the ring finger or wrist and rub gun powder in the wound so it resembled a tatoo. This sign showed covenant partnership. There were always witnesses present to validate the covenant between the two parties, and it was the responsibility of the witnesses to hold the parties accountable to the terms of the agreement. And the consequence to a broken covenant was death. In the marriage covenant, the only way a person could get out avoiding death was under one of two conditions: the partner died, or the partner was unfaithful. Other than that, the two that came together for marriage understood when they stood before the priest to be married, that they would be killed if they were caught breaking the terms of the covenant. It used to be much more serious than signing a piece of paper. So, that said, you want me to oft him? 🙂 Just kidding. But your intellectal ventures to find answers did trigger a question. You say that the pain you experience in recent times resulted from co-dependancy and attachment. To what degree is this appropriate in a marriage relationship? Or, maybe the more important question is, how do you define marriage? It seems to me that your feelings are totally justified, and I absolutely understand that you don't want to go through that again. Who would, right? Does this then, by default, change your expectations of committment and faithfullness in future relationships, as to not get attached to the point of avoiding pain should it fail?

By: Ms. Wakame

Ms. Wakame — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:46:26 +0000

Good for you! Personally I dont think there is anything wrong with it, as long as it is an entirely chosen path, as it seems to be for you smoky. For me, on the one hand I am most creative, most focussed and have far more energy to thrive when I’m not actively sexually involved with someone. Sex expends a lot of creative energy.

However, since I have a high sex-drive I know that I couldn’t continue with this indefinitely, it would be impossibly hard to do. I’m already finding that aspect of this current path incredibly tough, especially as in life, when you are not looking for something there are no shortage of options suddenly available…