Females of breeding age wanted for village in crisis
The Cumbrian town of Alston is facing a population crisis as men outnumber women by 10:1. Bachelors have launched an internet campaign at www.villagesincrisis.tk, urging ladies to the “Ibiza of the North” for romance and excitement.
Almost 100 posters advertsing the attractive aspects of their men were posted targetting the major cultural areas in the North of England:
“Are you female and single? Sick of putting up with boring, lazy, ugly, inconsiderate and poor men? Are you looking for some excitement in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions then the town of Alston Moor is waiting for you.
Alston, situated in an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty in the heart of the North Pennines, is currently suffering from a population crisis. The results of an official count conducted on the 25/06/05 showed that the ratio of males to females is almost 10:1. It is for this reason that the Alston Moor Regeneration Society, in association with Cumbria County Council and its affiliates, have set up the following scheme to attract females to the area.
Here is what we have to offer: The average male in Alston is single, athletic, intelligent, well-groomed, an extremely good sense of humour, owns their own vehicle, and in many cases owns their own land and property as well. Compare this to the average male from your area and you will see why you were lucky to spot this notice.
“The area of Alston offers all the amenities you would expect coupled with the benefits of the country lifestyle and a superb night-life, which lead to one travel critic describing the area as ‘The Ibiza of the North!â€
Check out the Personal Ads to get a taste of what’s on offer.
Just doing my bit ;@}
charlie fatcow
hi
Cait
“breeding age”? Sounds like they’re trying to purchase cows. I don’t think I’d even want to drive at high speed through the town.
Fuschia Faery
You have to admire them for trying I guess, even though many of them look a little squinty. Ben’s lager pic; one looking for a lass who likes fast men like him and another looking for a woman who likes a hard man are classics (did I imagine the last 😉
Lola
At first, I thought “sign me up” but then I realized that they weren’t even born when I graduated from high school. Oh, and if you look at the photo of Ben drinking what could be lager in a can, and I can happily say that it’s probably a good thing that they are so young. I might have to slap them up side the head!
nathan
I saw this once on Star Trek: Next Generation.
In the end, Ryker will choose not to aid Worf in his suicide, regardless of Klingon customs.