Whenever something scary, difficult or painful happens in life, I like to take the time first to look and see first if I caused it or willed it in some subconscious way. Once that’s aside I look closely at what new opportunities have come out of it. Sometimes I take a little longer to find these opportunities as the more time that passes the more perspective I have, but once I get there it’s hard to feel sorry for myself when I realise I’m better off or just as good as before in a different way. I have never gone through something painful or devastating without somehow coming out trumps or at the very least feeling stronger, better or wiser.

Making new invaluable friendships has been the main theme benefit throughout my life during extremely difficult times. Often times new adventures come up too. I’m more likely to take big risks towards new horizons when I feel I have lost almost everything. It can be very freeing to lose everything and get a fresh start. I’ve done it twice by the age of 33, and now I can honestly say I’m not afraid if it happens again.

Sometimes these hard times can lead me slap bang into my unavoidable and long searched destiny, in the case of Joseph pretty much crash landing into me out of nowhere. Or the time I got so stressed out and depressed waking up for work in the mornings, I finally woke up — 20-years-old with a very secure middle-aged life, there in front of a computer monitor burping out a spaghetti-nest of 4 years worth of a miserable team’s craptacular COBOL coding I’d been hired to fix. And so often during these times I am lead head on into the path of very special people who hold keys to long locked away parts of me just by doing their usual thing, or where just a sentence in reference to the ice-cream they are noshing into is so ridiculously profound it blows my whole perception of life out and into completely new territory. I’ll never be the same again.

I love when the most unexpected people who play a minor role in my life for years suddenly come through for me in such a huge way, we get to know each other so incredibly well that we are bonded together forever. My favourite thing of all during times of high stress is to meet people who challenge me in profound ways, that push me almost over to the breaking point. Especially those people who don’t care for me at all. At the time of course its unbearable to be challenged so unlovingly when all I think I need is support, but once I’ve gotten past it I’m so grateful for how it reshuffles, resets and strengthens me. I get to purge all those crappy pre-conceived ideas, roles, limitations and other programming when its forced to the surface.

If you’re going through an incredibly hard time right now, please take courage, try to be patient until you start to see how you are gaining some things in return. If you start to look for them early on in the process and find gratitude in your heart for the seemingly small things you are gaining and how you are growing, over time this habit can turn you into a person who feels luckier than most, blessed, somehow always lands on their feet. Somehow God or the Universe always comes through in a big way. I’ve also noticed that people are more likely to help grateful people, people who never give up are always a great investment. When you think about it, isn’t it incredibly rewarding to watch a hopeful friend bounce back from some huge setback and know that you were a part of that success, that you believed in that person?

I’m rambling on and don’t really know what the point of this post was, except to put down in writing some thoughts that are swimming around in my head today. My thoughts are all soupy still on this issue.

Today especially I am feeling overwhelmingly, incredibly grateful for the many amazing people in my life, many of whom don’t even know each other, who have been there through the really difficult times as well as the good, supporting in any way they knew how from whatever country I met them in, for being so much fun during the good times, for challenging me always with love, for pointing out the hard things, for being hilarious and taking my mind off everything, for showing me the humour in how seriously I take life sometimes, and those who have unlocked and shared the many secrets to a happy life that I now get to live by.

Thank you, friend, for being such a BIG part of my life. I know that you might be crazy enough to have read this far into the post, and wondering if I am referring to you, but know that if you have ever been a part of my life even seemingly small, if you have affected my thoughts, I most probably am talking to you. I am so happy I know you!!