… and please dont take this personally, because I don’t know you. I’m sure you’re great. But seriously, there seem to be far too many hipsters sporting hilarious Poirot style moustaches these days, with the fully sprung upcurl that must take at least half an hour in front of a mirror to lovingly style and mousse to perfection every morning. If its because you’re trying to look ironic, you’re the only one who gets it. Everyone else thinks about the whole love affair with the mirror thing. It’s just that it’s so hard not to laugh when you look so idiotic, and so serious about yourself, and so I do laugh, and I feel bad when you notice because you’re obviously the sensitive type, but I just can’t help it!!! Without a full beard to subtly blend into it which you can’t grow because you’re just 22, it’s just so freaking odd looking, without the wrinkles and the full cigar robe and slippers. Do you think women really want to go down on that? Yeah, that’s what I said, go down on that. Think about it. Then please do us all a favour, especially the ones of us who happen to notice at the same time as having coca cola painfully exit through our nostrils and splatter your new Converse shoes that you bought in “distressed” style to look like you’ve lived in them all year, get your freaking razor out!! YOU’LL GET SO MUCH MORE ACTION…