{"id":3582,"date":"2007-04-18T12:39:50","date_gmt":"2007-04-18T16:39:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.yummy-wakame.com\/archives\/2007\/04\/18\/3582"},"modified":"2007-04-18T12:39:50","modified_gmt":"2007-04-18T16:39:50","slug":"girlfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yummy-wakame.com\/weblog\/2007\/04\/girlfriend\/","title":{"rendered":"Girlfriend"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>As defined by <a href=\"http:\/\/uncyclopedia.org\/wiki\/Girlfriend\" rel=\"external\">Uncyclopedia<\/a>:<\/em><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>A girlfriend is something that you will never have, unless you are a girl yourself, in which case you can be your own girlfriend, or you can be a lesbian. If you are a girl, and want a hetero-partner, then a Boyfriend is for you (it should be noted that these are far easier to find than girlfriends).<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Girlfriends are semi-mythical breasts beasts, and they are reputed to bring great joy to their captors. They are highly addictive, and like all drugs are extremely expensive. They are quite unusual in that they can bleed for a week and not die. Much like Superman. Scientists estimate that as much as 55{a9f0d31f6175b3e4775e11a66c07db268fb74408d6095f6b46eeec420c0e9f62} of girlfriends are women, the remaining 25{a9f0d31f6175b3e4775e11a66c07db268fb74408d6095f6b46eeec420c0e9f62} being composed of felons, mothers, hands, and Klingons. However, when handling girlfriends, one must follow a few simple rules (such as not trusting her with a wallet full of money). But unfortunately people like YOU rarely come across them whereas people like me swim in them<a href=\"http:\/\/uncyclopedia.org\/wiki\/Girlfriend\" rel=\"external\">&#8230;<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As defined by Uncyclopedia: A girlfriend is something that you will never have, unless you are a girl yourself, in which case you can be your own girlfriend, or you can be a lesbian. If you are a girl, and want a hetero-partner, then a Boyfriend is for you (it should be noted that these [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[212],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3582","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogalog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yummy-wakame.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3582","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yummy-wakame.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yummy-wakame.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yummy-wakame.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yummy-wakame.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3582"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yummy-wakame.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3582\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yummy-wakame.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3582"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yummy-wakame.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3582"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yummy-wakame.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3582"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}