Do you know anyone who got expelled from pre-primary?
Well now you do. Yup. After staple-gunning my big toe to the ground, repeatedly beating up the kid that constantly picked on Ken, and causing the kids to giggle uncontrollably while we were supposed to be doing our “ohmmmmmmm” hands in the air relaxation circle thing, the people at Montessori finally cracked. The teachers even tried removing all the door handles to keep me from wandering into other classrooms, but I just stuck things in the holes to open them. What could I do? I was bored with making jelly, tying laces and the sand patch. Bored with the afternoon naps. So bored I would stuff peas from the veggie patch up my nose every day so the doctor would have to come and get them out. I was bored, but it was the happiest school Ive ever known.

After that my poor mom had to go round to all the primary schools, begging them to take me early. “Please take her! The pre-primaries don’t want her and she’s too much to handle. I can’t look after her anymore.” Eventually one did, but it wasnt long – about 2 weeks – before I was moved onto another school.