Getting over resentment
A few months ago I read this page after a tipoff from my good friend Beverley. While I don’t agree 100{a9f0d31f6175b3e4775e11a66c07db268fb74408d6095f6b46eeec420c0e9f62} with everything he wrote or how he wrote it, he is definitely onto something big and I do agree with most of the things he has to say. I’ve been carrying around these ideas for some time now and in many ways I’ve noticed profound transformations happening in my life from taking on board his suggestions. I spotted the link in my favourites today and thought it might also help a few people who come here…
An excerpt from
Are Resentments Justified
You hear people say this all the time: “I have a right to be upset because of the way I’ve been treated. I have a right to be angry, hurt, depressed, sad, and resentful.” Learning to avoid this kind of thinking is one of my top ten secrets for living a life of inner peace, success, and happiness. Anytime you’re filled with resentment, you’re turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to manipulate.
I became aware of how powerful this lesson was many years ago while sitting in on a meeting of 12 people who were in a recovery group for alcoholism and drug addiction. All 12 of those people were accustomed to blaming others for their weaknesses, using almost any excuse as a rationale for returning to their self-defeating ways. On a poster hanging in the room were these words: “In this group, there are no justified resentments.”
Regardless of what anyone would say to another group member, no matter how confrontational or ugly the accusations, each person was reminded that there are no justified resentments. You may need to consider whom you resent before you can make your own choice about whether this is useful for you. Resentments give you an excuse to return to your old ways. This is what got you there in the first place!
You can read the rest of the article here…
Ms. Wakame
Thanks Bev :@)
Beverley
I remember clearly our IM conversation regarding resentments and placing blame…. I didn’t realize you were actually listening so closely. I’m glad this made a positive impact upon you!
I am learning and discovering in these most recent days the mysteries of how to recognize when the winds of change are about to blow through and soar high above the storm and sail on the warm currents! I’m finally feeling comfortable with just letting go and trusting the outcomes!
Be blessed Olivia and sail on the beautiful breezes of each new day!!!!!!!! Sunshine and Smiles…..
Miko
That’s a great article. I love me some Dr. Wayne Dyer. I’ve read a couple of his books and found them extremely profound. Having said that, I’m a champion grudge holder. I’m kind of famous for it. I cling to grudges going back 35 years and beyond, milking them for all it’s worth. Nobody even remembers any of this stuff anymore, and I’m still as pissed as if it all happened yesterday! I love my grudges, they keep me warm at night. I can’t see myself giving them up any time soon.
Ms. Wakame
Hahahahahahah! Oh man. Are there any stories from your teens when you weren’t busting something up?
nathan
I’ve always had two problems with holding grudges, 1 is that it’s a lot more difficult to be angry with someone than to be nonchalant towards them (and perhaps a little more effective as well) and 2 is that I often forget people who I have had problems with in the past.
Once there was this kid, Joe B., who came and was busting up my friends house one time, and he was a huge dude, like 250 lbs when he was 17, and so I remember that I went out and smashed his car window with a golf club to get him away from the house, and he ended up chasing us in his car, wasted, all around the neighborhood. At some point he jumped in front of our car and we hit him, but miraculously he wasn’t hurt…
Anyway, a few years later I end up at a party at his house and we all need a ride to go get some more beers or something and I’m like “Hey man, don’t you have a car?” and he just looks at me, pretty pissed…