“The body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.”
~ Buddha

I really love this quote! I stumbled on it while looking for a talented Thai Yoga Massage therapist in Boulder.

I just realised right now, after reading this how much I love my body. Finally. It’s not perfect by any stretch of the media’s imagination, but its mine, it’s taken me all over the world, its allowed me to embrace some truly incredible human beings and it allows me the full range of intense sensations that make me feel like I’m burning with life all the time. It took me a long time to get to this point of loving my outer shell, even liking it. For 10 years, after a disturbance during my teens, I felt completely disconnected from it, most places I lived I didn’t even own a mirror, and when I did see my reflection by accident, like washing my hands at a restaurant, it always surprised me that I had some sort of form… my face particularly was odd to look at… I remember peering at it sometimes shyly like I was embarrassed to stare at someone else, I didn’t expect it to look the way it does… “who’s eyes are those? Who is that? It doesn’t even look like me.” It didn’t feel like me to even have a face. I always felt floaty, like a big ball of spirit not confined to a skin, not wanting to be in a skin at all… But happily these days I can say that I am very firmly and snugly inside my body. Mirrors are no big deal, they don’t phase me, although I still hardly look into them, even when Im brushing my teeth, but I know that’s just habit. I feel at happy home in this body, completely comfortable at all levels of undress, at peace. It doesn’t matter to me whether I am bony-browned by summertime or in my fullest winteriest padded bloom, marshmallowy or ripped, I’m finally happy in whatever shape or form it decides to take as the seasons and new places roll through me.

Through this entire process of awakening I have taken extra special care of my body, what goes into it, who’s words I absorb, who I embrace, notice how each foodstuff makes me feel, riding my bike for miles every day. I barely touched alcohol so I could keep my mind clear of confusion and adapt to the new life with fluid ease.

In the past month that all fell by the wayside as I adapt to an entirely contrasting lifestyle, leaving my bare-legged life in the dusty desert and coming to freezing cold bundled up Colorado. Because of Joseph’s crazy work routine and wanting to balance our work and play I wake up around noon every day and go to sleep around 4am. I eat at bars and restaurants late at night instead of making home-cooked meals, and scoff down sticky treats at coffee shops and many many other delicious sweet creamy drinks during the day. I’ve been too chicken to go outside in the freezing cold and walk up a sweat, explore the beautiful neighbourhood I live in. I have been partaking in far too many partakings and so… my metabolism has slowed down to that of a hibernating bear. There have been a few emotional challenges that have sprung up in the month of living here, which I half expected to go with the territory, which would have been a breezy cake walk had I been my usual strong, capable, sussed self, but instead I have allowed those situations to overwhelm me. When my body or environment feels messy my mind does too. I even know in the moment I’m dealing with an issue that my brain muscle has turned to flab and can’t keep up at my usual pace of emotional growth, because my body has gone on vacation. So today, after reading this amazing quote, it is time for my wakeup call! I don’t believe in New Years resolutions, or in giving in. I believe that every new day is an opportunity to start over, to do better, have more fun, or be better. That is why I love mornings so much!

Today is a fabulous sunny day in Boulder. I’m wearing a lovely fuzzy hat in my absolute favourite colour – deep purple! And my falling apart sequin shoes. The snow has melted, there are unbelievably cute girls out on the street radiating SUMMERTIME, I have a beautiful city to explore by my absolute favourite method – foot – and new people to meet. YAY! It’s time to play!