My Maggie Mae
I totally forgot to update with news that I GOT THE BANJO! She is so beautiful, with mother of pearl inlays and the most crazy sexy twang. I still remember the feeling I had when I first got my hands on her and was walking free down the road, in the rain towards the bus stop.
I haven’t been that excited since Christmas as a kid, it was OVERWHELMING me so much that a squeal burst out of me that sounded something like, “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!HEE HEE HEEE!” which I couldn’t seem to stop, like some kind of deranged leprechaun.
She’s really heavy, solid, and I took her in for our first stringing at Pittsburgh Guitars as soon as I got off the bus. She’s very different to stringing a guitar but I figured out how to string her up to the most perfect twang that I’d ever heard come from a banjo that close to my ears. Aaah I am so in love with this little lady! And plan to paint her up some day or maybe draw with dark pencil a story of some kind, but its not time for that yet. I still don’t know her well enough to know what she’d like.
Right now Im at about the level of a 5 year old playing it and super proud to have made it from nothing to that level of greatness. If I decide to stay in Pittsburgh for the winter I’ll go for lessons, but for now YouTube is my instructor.
So I just realised I have doubled my responsibilities. I now have not only a cat, but a banjo to lug along with me everywhere. Need to make a strap for her so I can carry her on my back instead of by the neck. In a way Im very aware of the fact that while she is mine for now, and maybe for many years, she will be somebody else’s some day, and so it seems to have been with all the things I’ve ever had… just as its always going to be. I’m just so happy we are in each others lives right now. I feel very blessed to have her.
} bird {
It’s so amazing you are bringing that up because its exactly what I was thinking when I wrote it… except that I feel Im not quite ready to write something like that truthfully with the other meaning. I’ll get there eventually. things… they come and go… Ive learnt to trust that Ive always had what I need when I needed it, to not grasp. But people… relationships are infinitely more precious than things. For me its the whole point of being alive. I have a very hard time letting go of people.
Some day I will get there – but I know that getting there will make me a very different person in so many ways. I will think fundamentally differently. Though I suspect I will live life with a lighter heart. A lot of changes need to come first, a lot of loss, and a lot of life experience to force my hand on the issue. Or… maybe some day it will just completely dawn on me and the old way of thinking just wont fly anymore. I hope that’s what happens. Getting to that point could be really painful, but once there… I suspect it will be a rather painless existence. To always accept what is, without fighting it.
hmm. just something about it though doesn’t gel. I guess since its not very authentic for who I am right now. Its hard to say.
I’m always curious to know what other people think about this. And then, thinking aside, how they really feel about it. Even if you haven’t commented before, feel free to chime in.
chloe
oh, and congratulations on your new partner…very exciting!
chloe
i am writing down your words of wisdom…
“In a way Im very aware of the fact that while she is mine for now, and maybe for many years, she will be somebody else’s some day, and so it seems to have been with all the things I’ve ever had… just as its always going to be. I’m just so happy we are in each others lives right now. I feel very blessed to have her.”
…it is true, most things are like that, but it resonates more with me when thinking about it in terms of the people in my life…past, present, future