I recently walked away from a long-standing situation that made me feel powerful sometimes, and other times left me miserable without it. The people who shared the other side of the power see-saw with me now have it all to themselves. The next day I woke up after the first good night’s rest in forever and realised… each time I choose to give up power and control over something, I actually grow in strength.

I can’t believe I never saw it before: Power is not powerful. Power is an illusion. Powerful people are controlled by fear.

It’s like we already realise this at some level, but we don’t really pay attention to it.

I hope over my lifetime to have the courage to let go more control, let go of more things that make me feel this illusion of power. Beauty and youth and a perfect physique are powerful, so is money, so is charisma, so is fame… all of these and more are temporary, and most of us cling to our power as best we can until we die. We all have some forms of power. The kind of power I’m talking about is always over other beings. Power employs all kinds of devious tactics to control and maintain position: manipulation, domination, subversion, illusion, mastery, mystery, degradation and humiliation, temptation and desire, secrets and lies, and generally treating other people and creatures as lower to enforce our position over them. But the price is heavy. There is a tremendous fear of losing that status, that niggles into our brains, keeps us awake at night, distracts us away from the happiest moments. It requires constant, paranoid effort. Because once that power is taken away from us — and it always is at the most unexpected time — we have to face our tininess, our weakness, our nothingness without the others. When our whole lives we have set ourselves apart from others as unique or better or more special we ultimately end up being faced with our absolute loneliness: the isolation we’ve created for ourselves.

When we live a life worshiping power, our whole life and every choice we make is actually controlled in some way by the constant fear of what others think of us, how they will react, if they will admire our choices, if they will abandon us. Powerful people are lonely and should be pitied. I am writing all of this in complete admittance as someone who has TOTALLY lived a life admiring and pursuing power, of employing all the tactics at my disposal, not as a president of a country or a rock star, but as a young woman, and it has been a self-inflicted and lonely hellride.

Letting go of power sets us free, and it sets free everyone else we controlled. Letting go of power is an expression of Love.

Strength is inside. It requires control over self, not over others. It is not vulnerable to the distractions of other people’s Powers. It protects us from lusting after Power. Strength is universally beautiful. It’s size and scope is unlimited and it surpasses death because it is not at the world-level, it is at the soul-level. Strength never needs to be better than others. Strength never needs to take from others. Strength can never be taken away.

From now on I am dedicating my life to giving up my Power over time, as I identify it, for Strength. I hope I succeed. I hope that more and more good people discover this secret for themselves and free themselves from the game; from finding themselves sucked in by and attracted to the intoxicating sights and smells of power in others, or wanting it all for themselves. I hope fewer people lose their whole lives playing the Power game. I hope for a future world where there are more people who admire and pursue strength, leaving fewer to admire those with power.

If you are brave enough to take the challenge, this journey begins now in you with the choices you make next. You do not need to ask for permission from anybody. You do not need a single possession to have it. You do not have to fight for it. You do not need to struggle over it with anyone. But you will have to give up illusions of power for it.

Strength is real, and its probably already growing in you.