Girlfriend
As defined by Uncyclopedia:
A girlfriend is something that you will never have, unless you are a girl yourself, in which case you can be your own girlfriend, or you can be a lesbian. If you are a girl, and want a hetero-partner, then a Boyfriend is for you (it should be noted that these are far easier to find than girlfriends).
Girlfriends are semi-mythical breasts beasts, and they are reputed to bring great joy to their captors. They are highly addictive, and like all drugs are extremely expensive. They are quite unusual in that they can bleed for a week and not die. Much like Superman. Scientists estimate that as much as 55{a9f0d31f6175b3e4775e11a66c07db268fb74408d6095f6b46eeec420c0e9f62} of girlfriends are women, the remaining 25{a9f0d31f6175b3e4775e11a66c07db268fb74408d6095f6b46eeec420c0e9f62} being composed of felons, mothers, hands, and Klingons. However, when handling girlfriends, one must follow a few simple rules (such as not trusting her with a wallet full of money). But unfortunately people like YOU rarely come across them whereas people like me swim in them…
Ken
Pah! girls….
c’mon nathan lets go hang out in the boys only tree house and we can talk man talk and fart and stuff
nathan
Oh man, that was funny. Especially the bits preceding and including the word “Klingon”
Ms. Wakame
Yay Miko! I’m glad you got it in time :0)
Give Bumble Kitty-Kitty an extra snuggle from me tonight k?
Ms. Wakame
Tell me about it girlfriend!
Niqkita
Hahahaha! this is so true:
(it should be noted that these [boyfriends] are far easier to find than girlfriends)
Miko
Well, I am glad to have a girlfriend who is so thoughtful, and sends beautiful cards and presents to me … thank you, you darling! It’s beautiful, and I will treasure it forever.
P.S. Bumble-Kitty is doing well. She is going to work with me next week. Everyone wants to meet my sleeping partner.